Client and Staff Stories

Some of us might be aware that Alexis was once a client of SF Pretrial in 1998. He remembers walking into SF Pretrial when the office was located on 7th street, to meet with his then case manager Sharon Rose. This was during a time in his life in which he was struggling with substance use issues. At the time he was not ready to make a change and was simply fulfilling obligations with the courts and PTD to stay out of custody. During this time Alexis was in and out of custody and as he describes not being honest with himself and others. After experiencing challenges with the PTD program, he experienced a wake-up call, realizing that he wanted to make changes and create a different path forward. While Alexis was highly motivated to rid his life of substance use, he attested that making these changes took years, great effort, and much trial and error. He continued to go in and out of custody in various counties and found himself back at square one many times.

Fast forward to New Years Eve 2009: Alexis was living with family and had fallen asleep after using. He had a dream and, in that dream, he saw his uncle standing over him (who passed away 4 years prior) and his uncle said to him “Alexis, if you stay here another night you are going to die” and in that moment Alexis said that he felt great urgency to turn things around for the sake of his personal wellbeing and his family. Alexis says that he knew God had a bigger plan for him.

With the support of his family and his church, Alexis was able to end his substance use. “It is nothing but the grace of God, the prayers of my parents, grandmother and people from the church which brought me here today” states Alexis.

After getting clean Alexis worked different jobs which eventually led him to working in the field of community based programs. Alexis Carr joined the SF Pretrial family in August of 2020 and recently celebrated 11 years of sobriety in January of 2021.

It is that hope that he has that makes him want to be here today, to have empathy to help others understand and to follow through with things that he didn’t with years ago. Alexis is a living testimony, what he went through was not in vain because his experience will be that hope for someone else.

His whole existence since he got clean has come full circle, from living across the street from the home where he used to purchase his drugs to now working at SF Pretrial. His next goal is to further his education and getting into case management. In the 5.5 months that he has been at our agency, Alexis says that he has gained a lot of experience. He sees the need and importance of our work, he knows the ins and outs of our client procedures, and he knows how to connect with people both professionally and socially.

Music has played a tremendous role in Alexis’s journey, he has found peace, therapy and soul through music. He actively plays the piano and organ and plays 2 live streams every Sunday with 2 different churches. Alexis is not ashamed of his past, instead he says he is proud to share his story with others because it is a part of who he is, even though he went through what he went through he knows that it was for a higher purpose. Through his journey his empathy towards others has grown and shaped him into the man he is today.

I wasn’t always on the streets; many years ago I also had a home like most people. Prior to 2008, I worked as a service technician, installing and repairing automated gates and commercial doors. It wasn’t much, but we had a good life, my wife and I, in Hayward. We were young; I was only 25 years old. That’s when recession hit. I was charged for a DUI in Hayward, and everything snowballed downhill from there. The company I was working for for more than 10 years tried their best to keep me on, but after one year of economic hardship they had to let me go. Because of that, we lost our home, and started living on the streets of Hayward. I was a professional welder too, but with no physical address and no roof to shelter under, it was impossible for me to find a job.

By the time I was arrested for possession of stolen properties in May 2020, I had been living on the streets of San Francisco for about seven years. On that day, I had been struggling to keep myself warm, to no avail. A person whom I considered a friend, handed me a box of what could have been my saving grace – warm clothes. It felt like biting into crisp bread after days of hunger. But it didn’t last for more than moments. A police car promptly pulled up, and shortly after, I was arrested. The box of clothes turned out to have been stolen by my “friend” out of a car after he broke its window. I had no idea, and in retrospect, he wouldn’t be the type of person I would hang out with if I was indoors as I am now. But the reality is, wrong friendships are also a price of living a transient life.

Being arrested and booked in county jail was stressful, to say the least. It was even more stressful when I didn’t know what was going on. Thankfully, I was released to SF Pretrial, awaiting my court dates. Part of my release conditions was to check in with Pretrial twice a week in person, and participate in daily substance abuse counseling.

More importantly, being a client of Pretrial has made the whole situation a blessing in disguise. My whole life has been changed for the better, and I knew that the moment I was picked up from the jail by my case manager, Tony.

When I think about it now, it is truly an understatement of our relationship just to call Tony my case manager. He is much more than that, and I owe him a great deal. He has been my friend from the very beginning. Tony has done more for me than most people in my life. As a mere stranger, he has gone above and beyond for me, making sure that I was informed of all important information, that I showed up at court, and that I took part in my counseling. When I was still living on the streets after the release, he’d go to places to find me, and walk me to the office himself.

Tony was also one of the staff that advocated for my housing at Pretrial’s new hotel initiative. Getting housed at that time was truly the light at the end of a tunnel, a breath of fresh air. By then, I had been homeless for 12 years. Moving into the hotel, everything was a learning curve. From the lock on the door, to the fan on the ceiling, to the power button on the controller in the TV room… Finally, I had a door to call my own.

The new hotel initiative played a very important role in my recovery and rehabilitation. My counseling program requires daily attendance at very strict hours. When I was on the streets, it was almost impossible to keep appointments; I simply could not follow through. Being on the streets, I was detached from society more than ever.

Now with accommodations and stability of housing, I have made impressive progress in my substance abuse counseling. But it wasn’t without tears and sweat. I was dependent on opioid for almost a decade, and though my addiction tore my finances apart, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop my downward spiral until life gave me the most painful wakeup call, when last Christmas, my wife passed away from type 1 diabetes.

Thinking about it now still chokes me up. She was my love, and the strongest woman I ever knew. I lost her to deteriorating health, and I realized that I was losing myself to it too. I wasn’t getting any younger, and I wanted to change. I needed help, but I couldn’t get help.

Until I was enrolled in this counseling program through Pretrial as part of my program. Half a milligram by half a milligram, the program has finally helped me battle the monster that had been killing me for a decade. For the first time in years, I gained back my positive outlook in life. I believe in myself again, and in society as well. I am determined to stay on the true and healthy path from now on, and never fall back to those days of darkness.

Within just two and a half months, Pretrial has helped me start a new, brighter and healthier chapter. Without getting arrested and released to Pretrial, I would still be homeless now, sinking deeper into my addiction, losing whatever is left of my hope for life. From accepting that no one was willing to help me, and that never again would I have floors under my feet, I have now come to know first hand that there are still people, like those at Pretrial, who truly care and advocate for me. I am no longer hopeless and helpless. I am full of hope now, and full of aspirations for the future. My case is dismissed on July 23rd, 2020, and I cannot wait to start living this new life that Pretrial has given me.